Arrest the Dissidents

Kenny MacAskill

Department of Justice

St Andrews House



Dear Kenny

I keep reading how the SNP wants Scotland to be like any other normal country. In that case should you not act accordingly and take in for immediate questioning the Rev. Stuart Campbell?

This man is running a scurrilous and scabrous website excoriating Scottish society under the guise of being some kind of servant of God. This is clearly a cover for a vengeful campaign of undermining our society and possibly helping to overthrow the established order.

It is my belief that in almost every country in South America, Africa and Asia, this type of anti-state propaganda would result in detention and re-education – at least. Can his email account be closed down, for example? In Russia, they would trump up criminal charges and have him arrested. Some people find his activities funny but if they think he will stop after a Yes vote they are clearly deluded. This man is a determined anarchist opposed to whatever government is elected.

Could his church – some dubious tiny sect, I suspect – not be threatened with a tax investigation until he is forced to desist?

All sorts of people from across Scottish society are accessing this dangerous mind-altering material and are reported to be enjoying it. Is that what you intended when you took over the Justice Department, that the righteous and self-regarding should be humiliated in a public forum? I am today writing to the leaders of the established churches urging the formation of an ecumenical front that might lead to excommunication. Unless this seditious platform is closed down, the rest of us will be forced to labour in his shadow.

I understand the Unionists are also ready to back a move against him. Their suggestion is that all Yes banners and posters will henceforth be deemed to be answering the question: Should the Rev be detained immediately? Rather than the conventional: Do you want independence?

What do you think? If you do close him down, could you add a government-approved note with a link referring people  to the following site instead…

Kind regards

Derek Bateman


25 thoughts on “Arrest the Dissidents

  1. I strenuously object to this article, on the grounds that it’s all true.

  2. Ooo, the Rev really has ruffled some feathers! 😀

  3. My tinfoil hat prevents detection and arrest

  4. Kendomacaroonbar

    Rev’s up, achieve critical mass, release handbrake, and watch it Fly ! 🙂

  5. As a ” Disciple of the Dark” ( WoS follower) We will NEVER let anyone silence the Rev. we’ve waited too long for someone to lead us to the Promised Land (Scotland). He is opening eyes around the country to fornicating erm.. unionists and there lies. That is all.
    p.s. Your blog is good too!!

  6. ronald alexander mcdonald

    There’s fear, extreme fear and unionist fear!

  7. You must be on Duracell Ultra batteries like Judith Ralston (weather). Take regular excercise and pots of espresso. Some time in a dark room, I find helpful. Derek, You have burst onto the scene already a legend. (apologies to Bob Zimmerman)

  8. Thick socks all round, the Rev’s famous. 😀

    And about time too. Nice one Derek.

  9. My tin foil hat makes me look rather dashing

    Like that chap who has all the best music, the Yes campaign rather naughtily has all the best websites and blogs. Were it not for the ironic utterings of the ubiquitous Mr Rub on Lube, the Better Together Face Book page would be so depressing and humourless as to constitute a dangerous, illegal and unlicensed infringement of the Dignitas Clinic service provision. Even with Mr Lube’s contribution’s it still represents a very considerable danger and should only be approached with a Frankie Boyle DVD and a considerable quantity of whatever the kids are taking.

  10. Oh dear, I never thought of Wings over Scotland in that way, and they seem such nice people. And their articles I found interesting and funny. I’m so disappointed that visiting the Wings site may be unhealthy. I just wanted to broaden my mind.
    I have also visited the Better Together site, is that healthier? But the Better Together site confuses me. I read some article on their policies and a few days or weeks later they seem to be saying quite the opposite of whatever they said a few weeks past. Or is it just silly me, easily confused,and not being “on message”, as I think the saying goes.

    • “Or is it just silly me, easily confused,and not being “on message”, as I think the saying goes.”
      Its you Gavin
      everyone knows the policies of SLab are written in tablets of Plasticine

  11. Oh no! I’ve been reading Wings Over Scotland for ages without a tin-foil hat on – I mistakenly thought just being swivel-eyed was protection enough. And, Derek, you’d better watch what you’re saying about Johann Lamont – I’m told she’s a dab hand with two half–bricks in the haw maws department.

  12. I read the Rev’s site in my tinfoil onesie accessorised with Union Jack colostomy bag cover (for keeping my patent zoom pills in) – and I’m still normal. Ask anyone.

  13. A hundred of us are alive

  14. Rather more than that, actually….

  15. And I am one of those 100.

  16. Pure dead brilliant….

    As is this:

  17. Ah – its obvious. Derek has written this just to ensure that he gets a walk on part in the upcoming WoS Movie. The big question is – does he play himself, or do we get Dougray Scott?

  18. I was seduced by a wee Wings badge and felt important and empowered by association with the charismatic Rev. Then it came apart when I put it through the washing machine and the scales fell from my eyes.

  19. Roibert a Briuis

    A moment of enlightenment, here I was wandering though the supermarket thinking about Derek and the Rev and lo and behold I could hear Arlo Guthrie singing Alice’s Restaurant weird I thought but very appropriate,,,,,,and outside it was still playing…..and as i walked on there it still was .even weirder UNTIL like a bolt from the blue it hit me

    It was not the Rev or Derek beaming me subversive music but………………………………….

    My iPhone in my pocket playing away………You can get anything you want…………………YES YES YES

  20. Ah jdman, plasticine is an age give away. Its play dough these days,play the game and get the dough.Its the NewPolitics.

  21. You can get it if you really want
    You can get it if you really want
    But you must try and try
    You’ll succeed at last
    James Cliff

  22. I hear that Hector Russell are doing a roaring trade in tinfoil lined Tam O` Shanters.

    (Other kilt shops are available!)

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