new female indy campaign

The difficulties of the Yes campaign in attracting women voters could be overcome by a new slogan devised by concerned male nationalists. It’s called Hx3 and is aimed at widening the appeal of independence which is regarded by many women as aggressive and similar to football fan declarations of loyalty.

 

Hx3 is designed to look like the kind of scientific equation appearing on hand and face cream packaging containing active liposomes and other laboratory-tested ingredients.

 

The group behind the slogan, Stand Up and Fight the Sassenachs, say there is a lack of nuance in the campaign language which excludes women who respond to subtler marketing triggers. “Some burds just don’t get it,” said a spokesman. “They think we want to replay Bannockburn but that’s completely untrue. We won that one. We want to replay Flodden.”

 

He explained that independence wasn’t just a matter of emotion and therefore, irrational. It was also a pragmatic view that should appeal to female common sense. It was important not to put off women voters with words and imagery heavy with testosterone.

 

The meaning of Hx3 is explained in the marketing material now being circulated through Mumsnet, health clubs and office workplaces.

 

It reads:”Do I believe in independence?

Yes, with my Head because it makes sense.

Do I believe in independence?

Yes with my Heart because I love my country.

Do I have the Balls for it?

You bet I do.

I believe in Independence…Heid, Hert and Hingers = Hx3.”

 

“We believe this has the right degree of energy and taste to appeal to women,” he said. “It was designed by Danny who has advertising skills from writing the karaoke and menu details on the pub chalkboard.  And it was unanimously approved by the Stand Up and Fight entertainments committee which is keen to attract more women to the monthly disco.”

 

Asked if hingers didn’t sound like a male-only condition, he said: “No. We asked around the rugby club and the view there was that women have hingers too.”

 

Headscarves, bracelets, blouses and tea towels will appear in the shops before Christmas.

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8 thoughts on “new female indy campaign

  1. Bit dodgy, wife not in at the moment – will say more when (and if) I’m permitted. Yours, hingingly…

  2. I eagerly await the on-line store opening so I can buy my wife/mother/mother in law /burd etc. (Insert required female relation/acquaintance as necessary!

    If you cannot join them; laugh at them!

  3. Brilliant Derek. I will dutifully pass this on to my fellow hingers. ” Hingers United “…erm..maybe not!

  4. The chief has returned and gurgitated and pondered – she will buy the T shirt. Well done.

  5. proper laugh out loud, thank you

  6. excellent – Christmas and birthday presents all sorted.

  7. “They think we want to replay Bannockburn but that’s completely untrue. We won that one. We want to replay Flodden.” Best line ever!

  8. Brillant, toast sprayed over screen, always the sign of a great article

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