UKIP rally shock

There is a shock for Yes campaigners this morning with the news that the UKIP leader Nigel Farage is to address the independence rally at Calton Hill tomorrow.

Farage has been a hate figure for nationalists since he said he wanted to close down the Scottish Parliament and he was run out of Edinburgh while canvassing for the Donside by election.

“He’s undergone a remarkable transformation,” said a rally organiser. “He discovered he had Scottish roots and his name is an anglicisation of Forage which refers to the family’s agricultural background in the North East. He has cufflinks made out of miniature Turra Coos. He will address marchers wearing the Buchan tartan.”

UKIP said Mr Farage had developed a respect for a country where pub lock-ins were popular. “He also thinks that Scotland deserves its independence since he can’t find anyone there to stand as a candidate.”

There is no advance copy of his speech but organisers hinted that he may instead stand up and sing I Belong to Glasgow.

Meanwhile rally organisers admitted they had refused a request from Alistair Darling to make a speech because he was too extreme. “I think our supporters can have a laugh at Nigel but Alistair Darling has a long track record of ridiculing his own country, taking campaign money from the boss of the world’s dirtiest company, making a fortune on the side on top of his MP’s salary, backing war in Iraq and ruining the economy. His appearance would be too provocative. Police said they don’t want any trouble so keep extremists away.”

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11 thoughts on “UKIP rally shock

  1. Marvellous Derek, just marvellous. A shining addition to the online debate, thank you so much.

  2. Totally “wicked” derek.

  3. Derek; You are a beacon of hope!

    How about writing a free piece for the Herald but ask Better Together for expenses?

  4. Going to Edinburgh tomorrow, looking forward to seeing Nigel!!!

  5. I will be so disappointed if you are taking a loan of us!

  6. “there’s only one Nigel Farage, there’s only one Nigel Farage and he’s a dickhead!”

    Funny piece Derek.

  7. He belongs to Glasgow does he? ….well, he certainly disnae belong to Embra!

    You kip if you want to Nigel, Scotland’s not for kipping

  8. Ha ha! Buchan Farage indeed….

  9. Derek, I had no idea you were so funny until recently. Please keep it up!

  10. another good belly laugh, thanks Derek! Cheers me up no end since I couldn’t make the rally and even more gutted to be missing ‘oor Nigel’, 😉

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